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11/14/2014

Routinelessness

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I think I just invented a word.  The word is called “routinelessness”.  I’m pretty sure if you look this up, you won’t find it in any modern dictionary.  I may petition Mr. Webster later to include this in the next version or maybe I’ll apply for a copyright to the term.  It’s a complex word.  Try saying it three times fast.  “ROUTINELESSNESS, ROUTINENESLESS. ROUTINENESSNES-LES.”  Ok stop before you hurt something.   


What does routinelessness mean anyway?  It’s not just complex to say, it has a complex meaning as well, at least to me anyway.  It means the absence of, and the desperate need for, organization and order in one’s life.  More importantly, it reminds me that there are many things that happen in our lives each and every day; commitments, demands of one’s time and energy, simultaneously being pulled in multiple directions, having to sacrifice this task to complete that task, etc.   It leaves little time for self-reflection, organizing one’s thoughts and priorities, and simply being able to comfortably feel you have a handle on things.  Its easy to get caught up in the multi-tasking flow of everyday life as we find ourselves almost constantly being bombarded and overstimulated in the modern age of information overload, commercialism, and technology.  Especially as we head into the holiday season, the need to think about “holiday shopping”, office functions, parties and celebrations, and all the other things that accompany this time of year, is enough to short-circuit our brains and make us feel like Yuletide zombies.   Many times in life and throughout the year we overcommit ourselves and then resent not having enough time for what is really important to us.  I don’t want to pick on the holidays as they can be times of great joy, fun, and celebration, and I certainly wish that for you as we move into them.  Yet this can be a time of the year where we are particularly more vulnerable to overloading our physical and mental faculties and losing ourselves in the hustle and bustle of life.    


I’ve often been caught in this current and let me tell you, its sometimes hard to get to the stable firm-footing of the shore.  Hitting the “PAUSE” button and taking a break from non-stop working on the “what-do-I-need-to-get-done” list in my head has always been the first step for me to clearing my head and realizing that my “needs” aren’t always about needs at all.  Some of those needs are actually “wants”.  And some of those “want’s” become less important once I can separate myself from the frenzied pace I sometimes find myself in when multi-tasking to meet the perceived demands of life becomes “multi-torture”.   When I can step away and make time for planning and organizing, it allows me to contemplate and meditate about what I really need to do.  It allows me to to prioritize and organize my daily routine and to-do list, and has a calming effect on my thoughts.  And I soon feel better as a result.   The trick is to make the time for planning, prioritizing, meditating, and organizing.  I tend to do this either toward the last part of the evening, or the first part of my morning.  I’m not perfect, there are times when it doesn’t always happen.  But when I am able to do this, I find my day just runs a bit more smoothly and I can feel more confident that I’m covering all the bases that need to be covered.  Planning and organizing often leads to feeling better about oneself, improved mental health, using better judgment, improved critical thinking, and implementing a healthier lifestyle.  The end result is a routine that is manageable and realistic.   


Routine doesn’t have to be boring.  In fact, routine is often what grounds us, helps us prepare for each day, and minimizes the unexpected surprises that sometimes throws us off track and increases our stress level.    By establishing a routine and planning a time and place for everything and everyone that is important to you, you ensure the best chance of meeting all of your obligations and getting everything accomplished that you set out to do.   If you find that you aren’t getting everything accomplished that you need to do, you may be overcommitting yourself.  Or it may simply be time to prioritize.  I’ve encountered many people who prioritize by the rule, “What’s in front of me right now is the priority.”  They let themselves get distracted from what their real priorities are by what is the “immediately-in-front-of-their-face-thing.”  If you find yourself in that kind of a situation, its time to hit the “PAUSE” button.  Then start making a list of what is important to you and carving out times in your day for those priorities.  If you find you have too much on your plate, it's time to pare down what is important to you to give yourself a break.  It would be great if we could have a day stretcher and be able to clone ourselves.  But until technology amazes us with these miraculous feats of achievement, I find that the more you try to cram into one day, you reach a point of diminishing returns as far as how productive you can really be.  Remember there is only one of you and only so many hours in the day.  You may just find that you accomplish more in a week if you aren’t exhausting yourself cramming each day with “stuff” to do.  Sometimes the old adage, “Less is More” makes a lot of sense.  


As final thought, I have sometimes found that when I start overcommitting myself, I lose sight of some of the most important priorities in my life, that is friends and family. My own indicators of when this starts to happen is when I become more stressed, when I feel down, when I feel more isolated, and feeling tired.  The ironic thing is that I’m doing this to myself by becoming distracted by superfluous things.  In short, I’m not organized, I’ve stepped outside of my routine, and I’m not making family and friends a priority.   I suspect you are a lot like me in that you gain strength, confidence, and support from those in your life that are closest to you.  When I’m feeling weak, unsupported, and doubting myself, I realize that I’ve not been making them the priority that they should be in my life and I work to remedy this problem right away.   In my own routine, spending time with these people has become my highest priority as they are the foundation on which everything else is built.  


In your routine, make sure to make time for family and friends and the leisure and fun that enrich these occasions with them.   It is the stuff with which we recharge our own batteries.  




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    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Anxiety
    Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
    Depression
    Divorce
    Forgiveness
    Goal Achievement
    Good Mental Health
    Impulse Spending
    Less Is More
    Making A Change
    Moving Forward & Personal Empowerment
    Preparing For Counseling
    Relationship Problems
    Stress Managment
    Time Management

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    Brent Bernard is a Master's Level Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor with over 25 years of experience in the state of Ohio.  

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