Marriage & Relationship CounselingHelping couples rediscoverr lost connection and create new shared meaning together.
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What can you expect from relationship counseling?
There are many potential benefits to relationship counseling. It can help you connect, recreate fondness and admiration, build and reinforce attachment bonds, enhance quality time with your partner, aid in developing better ways of communicating with your partner, facilitate better conflict management, make life dreams more attainable, and create shared meaning and purpose. As relationship counseling can be an intensely personal process, unpleasant memories or emotions will likely arise. Our goal is to help you learn to regulate your emotions, and how you react and respond to them, more effectively. Couples can sometimes make improvements only to go backwards after a time. Progress is rarely experienced in a straight line; and it can often be uneven and unpredictable. Progress may happen slowly and requires an active effort on your part. What this means is that in order to maximize your experience, the expectation for you is not only to be present in session, but also to be an active participant in the process, and be open to new ideas and perspectives
In order to maximize the success of relationship counseling, your first three sessions, 90 minutes each, are devoted to a thorough assessment and treatment planning process. The 2nd session is usually split into two 45-minute sessions where your counselor will meet with each of you individually. You will also be asked to complete a comprehensive online assessment that will take approximately 60-75 minutes of your time outside of the office. This process will help your counselor to fully understand the problems and concerns you are facing from your point of view. To further enhance your positive counseling experience, you will be asked to work on things we discuss outside of sessions. This will require a relatively small yet significant investment of time and effort on your part. We find that the most successful couples who have the best outcomes take full advantage of the skills and exercises they complete and learn in session and practice them fully outside of the counseling office.
Most of the work will involve sessions where you will be seen together as a couple. However, there may be times when individual sessions are recommended. You may also expect exercises to practice between sessions.
The length of therapy will be determined by your specific needs and goals. In the course of therapy, we will establish points at which to evaluate your satisfaction and progress. The number of sessions for relationship counseling may vary from couple to couple but you may expect to attend anywhere between 10-12 sessions in total. You are also encouraged to raise any questions or concerns that you have about therapy at any time.
Initially, we will meet more frequently. In the later stages of therapy, will begin to meet less frequently to allow you to test and practice your new relationship skills and prepare for termination of therapy. You may terminate therapy at any time. However, it is most helpful to have at least one session together to summarize progress and identify any other work that remains.
In order to maximize the success of relationship counseling, your first three sessions, 90 minutes each, are devoted to a thorough assessment and treatment planning process. The 2nd session is usually split into two 45-minute sessions where your counselor will meet with each of you individually. You will also be asked to complete a comprehensive online assessment that will take approximately 60-75 minutes of your time outside of the office. This process will help your counselor to fully understand the problems and concerns you are facing from your point of view. To further enhance your positive counseling experience, you will be asked to work on things we discuss outside of sessions. This will require a relatively small yet significant investment of time and effort on your part. We find that the most successful couples who have the best outcomes take full advantage of the skills and exercises they complete and learn in session and practice them fully outside of the counseling office.
Most of the work will involve sessions where you will be seen together as a couple. However, there may be times when individual sessions are recommended. You may also expect exercises to practice between sessions.
The length of therapy will be determined by your specific needs and goals. In the course of therapy, we will establish points at which to evaluate your satisfaction and progress. The number of sessions for relationship counseling may vary from couple to couple but you may expect to attend anywhere between 10-12 sessions in total. You are also encouraged to raise any questions or concerns that you have about therapy at any time.
Initially, we will meet more frequently. In the later stages of therapy, will begin to meet less frequently to allow you to test and practice your new relationship skills and prepare for termination of therapy. You may terminate therapy at any time. However, it is most helpful to have at least one session together to summarize progress and identify any other work that remains.
Drawing from the latest research and evidenced based practices, including The Gottman Method and Susan Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy, our therapists will assist you in learning about and incorporating healthy behaviors into your relationship.
What are the major factors that contribute to relationship dissatisfaction and divorce?
According to John Gottman, a leading researcher in the area of marriage and romantic relationships over the past few decades, there are many factors, including:
According to John Gottman, a leading researcher in the area of marriage and romantic relationships over the past few decades, there are many factors, including:
- Fewer positive interactions and more negative reactions. According to Gottman, conflict is normal and expected in relationships. He has observed that in healthier relationships, a ratio of 5 positive interactions to one negative interaction during conflict, is normal. In troubled relationships, that ratio is much lower.
- Poor communication with a higher tendency toward criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Gottman calls these the Four Horseman of relationships. The more present they are, the more unhappy the couple.
- Emotional disengagement and withdrawal. This can also be referred to as "turning away" instead of "turning toward" in times of stress and conflict.
- Failure of repair attempts. Repair attempts are those behaviors couples engage in to soften conflict, either with humor, taking time outs, or compromising.
- Negative sentiment override. This can also be understood as a contemptible attitude toward your partner in which you perceive actions and behaviors from your partner as mostly or completely negative and dismiss or discount any positive behaviors.
- Maintaining a high-alert and usually expecting bad things to happen.
- Diffuse physiological arousal. Gottman describes this as experiencing both helplessness/hopelessness and anger simultaneously, which activates the fight/flight/or freeze threat response. When frequently experienced in troubled relationships, this can contribute to defensiveness in one or both partners where they become less likely to listen to understand and more like to listen to respond.
According to John Gottman, in order to have a Sound Relationship House, there needs to be
With our therapists. you will learn more about, and how to incorporate these essential aspects of a healthy relationship into your life.
Please note that marriage & relationship counseling is a specialty self-pay service. Please contact us for a consultation as to your unique needs.
- Trust
- Commitment
- A Healthy Love Map
- Shared Fondness and Admiration
- Turning Toward instead of Away from each other
- A Positive Perspective
- Ways to Manage Conflict
- Making Life Dreams Come True
- Creating Shared Meaning
- Trust
- Commitment
With our therapists. you will learn more about, and how to incorporate these essential aspects of a healthy relationship into your life.
Please note that marriage & relationship counseling is a specialty self-pay service. Please contact us for a consultation as to your unique needs.