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12/15/2014

I Challenge You to NOT Make Any New Year's Resolutions This Year - Success in Achieving Your Goals

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Now there’s a thought! How about resolving to not make any New Year’s resolutions this year?

Do you remember all of those New Year’s resolutions you have made, say in the past 5 years? I’m sure you made a few. So, what were they? Five year’s ago, what was your promise to yourself? Maybe you remember them. Maybe not. If you are like nearly half of Americans, I bet you resolved to accomplish what you didn’t resolve the previous year, which you failed to accomplish to resolve the year prior, which was the same resolution the year before that, etc, etc.

According to the Journal of Clinical Psychology, a Study conducted by the University of Scranton and published in January 2014, researchers found that nearly half of Americans, about 45%, make New Year’s resolutions. What they discovered is, that out of that number, 49% have limited or infrequent success and 24% never succeed or simply fail. When it comes to achieving their goals, the study found only 8% of respondents who made a New Year’s resolution actually achieved success. Only 8%! Yikes! Its enough to make someone want to give up before they even start trying. Which goes back to my original point about not setting a New Year’s resolution this year. OK, don’t get discouraged. Stay with me and keep reading.

My opinion about New Year’s resolutions is thus: In the human psyche there is something magically special about January 1. Its a new year. People perceive this as a new beginning. They look back at the previous year, and maybe they regret what they failed to achieve or accomplish during that time. So they make a promise to themselves that the New Year will be different somehow, simply because its a fresh start. Yet often times, as is evidenced by the statistic mentioned earlier, people fail to make meaningful changes in their lives that bring about the results they desire. Failure to achieve a New Year’s resolution may lead to discouragement in setting any goals. This kind of defeatist thinking tends to take on a momentum of its own and can easily spiral out of control. Yet with the right tools and mindset, I believe one can very realistically achieve the objective they seek. I started this blog as if it were about New Year’s resolutions. But really its about achieving one’s goals.

Individuals set resolutions for many different reasons. They may set a goal about losing weight (#1 New Year’s resolution by the way), or improving finances, spending more time with family, quitting smoking or drinking, or some other personal or professional goal. Where I see problems happening for many is right out of the gate. The individual making the resolution fails to make a plan. They don’t make an explicit and measurable goal and they lack a well thought-out plan that is both realistic and within their means to achieve. Furthermore, there is too much focus on the end result and a lack of attention on the process. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that nearly everyone that makes a New Year’s resolution has every intent to see to its success. However, without a well reasoned road map to success, the person is less likely to see their well intentioned ideas succeed. Don’t wait until January 1 when it is tradition and quite frankly fashionable to make a goal that only 8% of you will enjoy success. Start now. Why wait? Its time to move forward.

Sit down and explicitly write out your goal or goals. This is one of the most important aspects associated with goal success according to research. Instead of the goal “Lose weight”. Set a goal of “I want to lose 10 pounds.” Or more specifically for example, “To lose one pound per week by restricting my net calories to 1500 per day. “ If you have an employment goal, your objective may be to “Have a new career or job by March 1st.” Instead, set a general goal of a new job and create a measurable objective by stating, “I will send out three applications/resumes each week.” You have little control over the decision of someone to hire you. You do have control over your own actions in applying for jobs. Regardless of how general or specific it is, write it down. Spell it out and make it real.
Develop a plan. If you have a business, or if you need to accomplish a special project at work, in most cases you need a business plan to achieve success. In this plan, you create goals and measurable steps of how you are going to achieve these goals. You consider the resources you have at hand, your strengths if you will, and how you will use them to achieve your goals. You also need to consider areas of weaknesses, what has worked against you in achieving success, and how you can manage these to prevent them from obstructing your progress. Don’t just think about the plan, write it down in as much detail as you can muster. You plan should also incorporate other suggestions below.
Recognize success along the way and allow for self-affirmation. How do you know you are making progress toward your goal? If you can’t easily and efficiently measure this, you are likely to give up quickly. By recognizing small successes along the way, you can more easily take responsibility for your progress. Progress is success. This is like giving yourself a little turbo boost or energy shot that will help you get to the next measurable step in achieving your target. Sharing your success with others can also be very rewarding and amplify the affirmations that are critical to goal success.
Motivate and commit yourself to the plan. Achieving one’s goals takes commitment. When you commit to change it often is because you are experiencing more negative consequences from the unwanted behavior instead of positive results. Weighing the pro’s and con’s of change is a very effective way of maintaining and reaffirming one's commitment to a goal. Remembering negative consequences and imagining and experiencing positive results is very important and drives to the heart of why you set goals in the first place. Remembering the reasons why you started your journey and reinforcing this on a regular basis is needed fuel to keep you moving in the right direction.
Don’t deviate from the plan but allow for flexibility. Some of the most successful people I know are also the most motivated, driven and focused at what they do. They have a routine, a schedule that they live by, and they are focused at making sure they accomplish what they set out to do on a daily basis. They are very steadfast in their devotion to making sure their daily objectives are attained. Yet, even the most fervently tenacious individuals have to allow for some flexibility sometimes. Things come up that are sometimes unavoidable, such as illness, family commitments, small crises, and other emergencies that force us to take a detour from our regular routine. Don’t let a short-term deviation from your routine derail your efforts. Start where you left off and expect that the occasional course correction will occur. If you have to set a deadline for achieving your goal, pad in a little extra time to allow for the unexpected. Overestimate rather than underestimate the time you need to achieve your goal.
Recognize and eliminate defeatist and negative thinking. What we say to ourselves in a given situation generally determines how we feel, which then influences behavior that can easily become habitual. Negative self-talk is a learned habit. Negative self-talk can start with just one incident or example. Someone having difficulty with a project at work may say to themselves, “I can’t do my job. I must be a failure.” This can lead to feelings of futility and simply giving up. They forget all of their other successes. This in turn influences their thoughts about their success as a person. It took only one task that is particularly demanding to make them think of themselves as a failure. They may try to avoid anything else that might be more challenging. In turn what is actually happening is they are reinforcing their belief that they can’t be successful or they are not competent enough to succeed. By avoiding the things that we fear, we give power to that fear and reinforce and validate the negative thinking associated with that fear. We make it less likely to overcome barriers and achieve our goals. Being able to counter negative self-talk with positive counter-statements is not easy, but with practice, can yield very positive results in being successful.
One thing at a time. The saying “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.” has merit. Those who start multiple projects with multiple objectives in the context of a “complete makeover” may be setting themselves up for multiple disappointments. If you have multiple goals you would like to work on, prioritize and focus on the most important first, ensuring a more satisfactory outcome for your top goal before moving on to the next item on your list.
Focus more on the process, less on the end point. If you focus more on the process and what you need to accomplish each day to achieve your goal, this is more likely to bring more rewarding results on many levels. This has the advantage of breaking a sometimes large goal, which may feel overwhelming at first, into much smaller and more manageable objectives. It has the added benefit of being able to feel a sense of accomplishment and rewarding yourself more frequently. For example, “I was able to stay under budget today at the grocery store.” as opposed to a monthly savings goal. “I rode the bike for 30 minutes today.” as opposed to exercising 5x per week.
Share your goal with those most important in your life. The term “recovery” comes to mind when I think of those who have struggled with a significant mental health or substance use issue. Those in recovery learn quickly that sometimes their work toward success is so challenging, they need other people and resources in their life to be successful in maintaining recovery. Sometimes the daunting notion of success in changing something significant about yourself is lessened to a large degree when you share the experience with those important in your life and ask for their support. Its even more meaningful if someone close to us has the same goal. Its the notion of “I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine.” You mutually support and encourage each other and keep each other focused on what you need to do to achieve success.
If it isn’t working, doing the same thing is unlikely to produce a different result. Ok, this is kind of paraphrasing Albert Einstein’s quote about defining “insanity”. Yet it is so true. Many get discouraged by their efforts because it isn’t working. They tend to blame themselves and see themselves as failures after repeated failed attempts. I believe that we learn more from our failures than our successes. Let your unsuccessful attempts alert you to the fact that what you are trying isn’t working and that it is time to try something different. Re-examine the problem or maybe modify your plan of action. Regardless, its time to try something different.
Have confidence in your abilities. Remember your successes. Think about your strengths. Make a list if you have to. Write it down in black and white. Admire your accomplishments. Reflect on what others have told you that they like about you and what you do well. Then focus on how all of these positive attributes about yourself can be put to good use in achieving your goals. Leave no room for doubt or negative thinking. If you find your resolve in your abilities starting to wane, go back to your support network for a well-needed boost.
Expect setbacks, distractions, and disappointments. Short-term disappointments or setbacks are probably the number one reason why people fail in achieving their overall goals. Let me be blunt. It will happen. Expect it. Plan for it. Work through the disappointment and push through the barrier. So you missed a day or two in your schedule.. You are still further along than when you started. Move past it and Keep Moving Forward.

Here’s to continuing to Keep Moving Forward in 2015.

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12/8/2014

Ho Ho Ho Hum. The Winter Blahs

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Ho Ho Ho Hum

Hello again. I hope you all had a very pleasant and relaxing Thanksgiving holiday and have recuperated from the food coma that usually follows such a bountiful feast. Now that the holiday and shopping season is in full swing, I thought this would be an opportune time to discuss a topic with which I am personally acquainted, as are many other folks who mourn the absence of the sun and outdoors this time of year.   As we head into the winter months, some may find the intense urge to hibernate, and lose interest in things they normally enjoy. This feeling can often be felt more profoundly after the frenzied energy of the holiday season has subsided. Some may call it “the winter blahs.” Clinicians often refer to it as Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD for short. Whatever you want to call it, in varying degrees of severity, it is a real phenomenon that has been studied and researched extensively.

Chalk it up to evolution
You could think of the winter blah’s as a throwback to the earlier days in our evolution that required us to expend less physical energy and conserve more during the winter months as the food supply was less plentiful during this time. During these months, our ancestors pretty much went into hibernation mode to survive through the cold months of the year. I believe that many individuals are more susceptible to SAD simply because it is a part of their biology. While this is only my opinion, the science behind the lack of sun or light exposure and the effects it has on the body is significant.

Possible Causes.
According to the Mayo Clinic, there are three factors that are largely believed to play a key role in SAD. One is the change in your circadian rhythm, which is your body’s internal clock that lets you know when it is time to rest and when to be active. The regulation of your circadian rhythm is largely dependent on external cues, such as daylight and darkness.. The 2nd is the neurochemical transmitter Serotonin, which has been researched extensively in its relationship to a person’s mood and has been shown to drop to lower levels with decreased exposure to sunlight. The 3rd is the hormone Melatonin which has also been shown to play a role in sleep, and by extension, a person’s mood. Many doctors prescribe Melatonin for their patients who have problems sleeping. If a person doesn’t get enough sleep this has a profound impact on mood. The common denominator to all of these factors is one thing, less exposure to sunlight. This can impact all three of these areas in a dramatic way, all working together to influence a person’s mood.

Who is at risk?
Those individuals who find themselves living further from the equator and exposed to less sunlight during the colder months of the year are certainly at greater risk. Women also tend to be more susceptible to SAD than men. Younger individuals tend to be at greater risk as well. While research has identified these individuals as being more at risk, the “why” is less well known. Certainly those already experiencing a mood disorder, such as clinical depression or Bipolar Disorder, are more susceptible to the effects of SAD.

What to look for.
If you believe you may be experiencing the effects of the Winter Blah's or to a more significant degree, Seasonal Affective Disorder, look for the following:

Lethargy or decreased energy level corresponding to seasonal changes
Depressed or irritable mood.
Disrupted sleep or increased need for sleep
Diminished interest in the things you normally like to do
Change in appetite, including increased craving for carbohydrates and weight gain
Predominantly cynical or negative thinking
Difficulty concentrating
Strain in interpersonal relationships
Increase in feelings of loneliness and sensitivity to perceived rejection
Symptoms increase in late Fall and Winter and abate in early Spring, (usually late Feb or March.)

How to manage seasonal mood changes.

Plan ahead. If you have found yourself experiencing symptoms such as these in past Winters, you might want to plan some organized activities or even a vacation in a warmer sunnier climate in the dead of Winter. Getting started is the hard part. Make a commitment to yourself and design a plan of action.

Increase your exposure to light. Prevailing opinions suggest that at least 20 minutes per day is sufficient to offset the symptoms of SAD. An alternative is to invest in a “light box” or other form of artificial light therapy that has been show to have beneficial results. Here's an idea! Make it a point to try to enjoy a sunrise or sunset as much as possible. Open the curtains. Turn on the lights. Ever notice your cat or dog laying in that patch of sun? They may know something you don’t.
Melatonin. Consult your physician about Melatonin supplements if you find your sleep patterns disrupted during the winter months. Melatonin has been shown in some studies to have positive effects on the quality of one’s sleep.
Resist the urge to hibernate. Bundle up and go outside for short walks. Join a fitness club and use it. Join an aerobics or yoga class. Keep your metabolism going. Push through the urge to join the sleeping bears this time of year and stay active. You’ll be glad you did in the end. Oh, and if there’s snow outside, my thinking is you are never too old to go out and play in it. Go invest in a snow board or sled.
Seek out certain foods, resist others. Seek out fruits and vegetables and maintain a sufficient level of protein in your diet. Resist rich sugary foods and eat carbohydrates in moderation. Foods high in carbohydrates tend to make us feel more sluggish an hour or more after we eat them due to increased insulin production to process all of that sugar.
Practice Gratitude. For two minutes every day, concentrate and think of those people and things in life for which are most thankful. Nothing chases away negative thinking better than filling your brain with the things in life toward which you feel the most positive and appreciative.
Exercise Healthy Choices. Healthy choices equals improved mood. Read my blog on Ten Things You Can Do to Maintain Good Mental Health which has several ideas on how to make positive choices for yourself that can improve your mood.
Take a Break from the TV. Ever notice that after spending hours in front of the TV you feel more tired than you did before you sat down? I’m not against taking in your favorite show or movie. But look, all things in moderation, right? Unplug and enjoy some family or friend time.
Socialize. Speaking of family and friend time, take a little extra effort to reach out to those you care about or someone you haven’t spoken to in some time. It can be just what the doctor ordered and it can feel really good to connect or reconnect, whatever the situation may be. Volunteering can be a great opportunity to increase your social exposure as well as enrich yourself with positive feelings that often accompany selfless acts of helping others.
Organize and Plan for Spring. Declutter the house. Yes, I mean clean. You will better for it and enjoy a sense of accomplishment. Plan for your Spring Gardening. Memories associated with Springtime can easily be triggered by thinking about and planning those outdoor projects you enjoy during the warmer months.
Expose Yourself to Memories of Warmer Months. Go through old photos of friends and family during the Spring and Summer. It will be a nice distraction from the gloomy gray day outside and guide your thinking away from gloomier thoughts. See some nice sunny pictures in your collection? Blow it up and hang it on the wall. Create an indoor Summer in your home.
Cuddle Time. Nothing brings out the warm fuzzies better than having physical contact with the ones we love. Children, family, close friends. Offer a hug, get a hug. Help brighten someone else's day and improve your own as well.
Treat Yourself. If nothing else, give yourself a special treat, or treats. Make your favorite homemade soup. Light some candles, maybe a lot of candles, also giving yourself some light therapy in the process. Take a nice long aromatherapy bath with your favorite bath salts or soap. Get yourself a therapeutic massage. Create an uplifting fast-tempo playlist of some of your favorite music. Take a trip to the museum, zoo, aquarium, or other favorite spot. Finish a project you have started or start a new one.

These suggestions are not meant to be exhaustive but will hopefully give the reader some ideas that will empower them to realize that you don’t just have to accept the winter doldrums and eek through Winter. For those who dread the Winter months, there are things that can be done to make this time of year much more tolerable, and even enjoyable. However, that being said, if you find that what you are trying is not working, it may be time to seek additional help with a trained professional.

Best wishes to you and Happy Holidays!

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