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11/23/2014

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.  How to Get Past "Gotta Have It! " Impulse Spending

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OK, as I write this, we are exactly 1 week away from the infamous Black Friday cornucopia .  This day of course supposedly marks the start of the holiday shopping season.  Although I must admit I continue to grow increasingly skeptical of this magical juncture that occurs every year since some of my friends and acquaintances have already told me they started their shopping weeks or even months ago.  It also seems incredulous to me that there were Christmas displays up in retail stores long before even Halloween came around.  Holy Cow!  


Every year it seems there is an ever increasing push by retailers to maximize and extend that frenzied season of indulging in the binge-worthy guilty pleasures of  holiday shopping.  The old adage “less is more” is chucked out the window as we are constantly assaulted with shopping ads, coupons, TV and internet commercials, and the lure of “special sales” to entice us to buy things that, had we not seen them, we really wouldn’t have given much thought to buying them in the first place.  It is an impulsive behavior and it is one that retailers and corporations know well and have been exploiting for decades.  

Why Do People Make Impulsive Buys?
Impulsive spending is not unique to the holiday season.  It happens all the time.  Unfortunately, we seem to be more vulnerable to its pull around this time of year.  I have three general thoughts about why this is.  


One: OK, it is darn near impossible to escape the full-on barrage going on this time of year from retailers.  That alone makes it challenging to not scratch that itch and go out and get it because it would be fun, exciting, and just plain dope to have that latest wide screen TV!

Two:  During the holiday season we feel obligated to go out and buy gifts for others as well as ourselves.  Its been socialized into us for nearly a century now.  According to blackfriday.com, (why am I surprised there is a website),  the term “Black Friday” used to launch the holiday shopping season, was first used in the 1960’s.  It refers  to accounting records from corporations moving from “red” which refers to a company’s debt, to “black” which of course means profit.   Although if you go back further than this, the start of the Christmas shopping season can be traced all the way back to the first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade in 1924 which heralded the unofficial start of the shopping season the next day, which of course was on a Friday.  So by not shopping and buying gifts during the season of shopping, do we somehow believe we are missing out on something?  Its just what you do this time of year, right?  Its normal.  This is what we have learned and have come to incorporate into our belief system.  

Three:  I believe that during this time of year, as the season is changing from warmer to colder, and as the days are getting shorter and we are exposed less and less to the sun, some people tend to fall into those “winter blah’s” that can plague us and leave us feeling low, slowed down, unmotivated, or maybe even depressed.  


Buying something new and exciting can give someone afflicted with the winter doldrums  a short-boost of adrenaline and excitement that temporarily lifts our spirits and creates enthusiasm and energy.   Unfortunately, it becomes a problem when we repeat this pattern, and a vicious cycle of pleasure seeking and reward sets in  This also results in the converse phenomenon of draining our pocket book of course.  I’ve known some individuals who spend themselves into a chasm of debt around this time of year and spend the majority of the new year climbing out of that trench (at a tidy interest rate too), only to repeat the cycle the same time next year.  
Beat The Urge
So how do you avoid the pitfalls and traps of impulsive spending that can have very real and harmful consequences?

  1. Be aware of your mood when you shop.  Heightened emotional states tend to make us more susceptible to making poor choices; in this case impulsive spending.  If you are upset, anxious, depressed, or mad, this may be an occasion to stay out of the stores until you feel more relaxed and calm.   Feeling euphoric and excited are also heightened emotional states that can make you more vulnerable to spending more than you intended.  So do an internal status check before heading out the door, or heading to www.spendmyselfcrazy.com or whatever website you prefer to do your online shopping.

  2. Set a realistic dollar amount that you want to spend for the holidays and stand pat.  It’s easy to find exception to your budgeting intentions when you are in the retail trenches.  Remember, the retailers know this and fully try to exploit any impulsive tendencies shoppers have.  The terms “doorbusters” and “Black Friday Bargains!” are very tantalizing.  Set a dollar amount and stick to it.  Better yet, if you have specific gifts in mind that are reasonable and within your budget, make the list and stick to it.  Don’t be lured into those drifting thoughts of, “Oh that would be great for him or her.” etc, etc.  Stick to your list.  Stick to your budget.   

  3. Share more of yourself and less of your credit card.  Maybe this year its time to establish a new family tradition of gift giving.   There is often an unspoken sense of pressure family members feel to show how much they love someone by attaching a price tag to that emotion.  Maybe this holiday season is the time to find different and less costly ways to show them how much you care.  In my opinion, nothing is more valuable in showing those closest to you how much they mean to you by sharing your time and company with the ones you love.  This means being fully attentive and in the moment with them.  In the age of technology, computers, TV’s and smartphones, personal time with the family is becoming a scarce commodity.  So if its not too late, talk with your family about a new tradition that has less emphasis on gift giving and more of giving of yourself.  They just might appreciate it more than you think.  

  4. You can’t buy happiness.   Being aware of the fact that those who may be more depressed or experiencing the “winter blah’s” this time of year is a risk factor to impulsive spending.  Many individuals that fall into this category attempt to buy themselves out of a depressed state and the adrenaline and excitement that comes with a shiny new “whatever it is “ can make one forget about their mood for a short time.  Yet over time, buyer’s remorse can set in and add to the negative feelings that the person was trying to alleviate to begin with.  

  5. Analyze the reason for a purchase.  In the end, if you really have to buy it or absolutely have to have it, run through a list of items in your head before making the deal.   Is there a practical and logical reason for the purchase?  Will it change yours or someone else’s life in some way?  Will it make you or someone else feel better?  What other choices do you have?  It is important that you are honest with yourself.  If you find yourself trying to sell yourself on the purchase, that may be a clue as to if you really need the item or not.  


Come back next week when I talk about a very well researched topic that deals with The Winter Doldrums.   




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    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Anxiety
    Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
    Depression
    Divorce
    Forgiveness
    Goal Achievement
    Good Mental Health
    Impulse Spending
    Less Is More
    Making A Change
    Moving Forward & Personal Empowerment
    Preparing For Counseling
    Relationship Problems
    Stress Managment
    Time Management

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    Brent Bernard is a Master's Level Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor with over 25 years of experience in the state of Ohio.  

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